Letting Time Pass You By: Why Next Generation Daughters and Sisters Fail to Negotiate Their Futures Today
Future ownership and leadership roles in family enterprises can and should be negotiated by next gen women—but that does not happen as often as it should.
Many capable young women are sitting on the sidelines, allowing others to make decisions about their future for them, and letting the passage of time determine their fate with no active planning on their part. As a result, family enterprises are missing out on key talent that either remains untapped or is lost to opportunities outside of the family system. And, as the years go by, promising young women in enterprising families are too often looking back with regret about how things have turned out for them personally.
It takes years to prepare family business leaders, including future board members, active owners, corporate executives, and foundation directors, to name a few. Women in particular need to understand that the path starts early. Why don’t they?
Here are twelve common barriers that prevent next gen women from beginning to negotiate their future roles today. To provide wise counsel, any advisor or coach needs to understand which barriers are most active in a particular case and then craft a tailored strategy for overcoming them.
Now is not the time to act because…
“I’m still young. There’s plenty of time.” That might be true, but this mindset fundamentally underestimates the various types of development and negotiations that are needed to keep the door open for leadership roles in a family enterprise. It overestimates the ability of a family member to flip a switch at some future point. Success in the family enterprise requires continuous attention and effort.
“I’m not ready to commit yet.” Today’s next generation members have more opportunities outside of the family enterprise than any previous generation. It is more common for professionals to transition regularly between jobs and industries. At the same time, deciding to join the family enterprise can feel like a lifelong commitment (even if it does not have to be). This limiting mindset can delay progress and overlooks the fact that there are still conversations to be had and development opportunities to pursue that do not necessarily require an ironclad commitment to a particular path.
“I’ll come across as greedy, pushy, ungrateful, etc.” Through societal influence and family cultures, women are taught and expected to be selfless team players. They may fear that expressing an active interest in a leadership role for themselves or taking steps to further their candidacy and potentially compete with siblings or other family members will trigger negative reactions. Research and experience both show that this dynamic does happen. There are gendered differences in the way that people react to women and men who advocate for themselves at work.1 The false assumption women in enterprising families make is that this challenge will lessen as time goes by and that at some vague future point, they will no longer need to contend with it. But in reality, it is a constant (at least for the foreseeable future) that they need to learn to manage.
“I’ll make [insert name] unhappy.” Sometimes a spouse, sibling, or cousin can feel threatened by assertiveness, commitment to goals, and professional success of others around them. These naysayers can have a powerful impact and impede progress. Family relationships are complex and women in enterprising families often default into roles to caretake, to manage feelings and emotions, and to “keep the peace.” They are hyper-attuned to any changes in relationship dynamics. Succession and changes in leadership naturally cause ripple effects in the system that impact other family members. This focus on the individuals is important, but it cannot get in the way of looking at the system overall: what is best for the entire family to sustain multigenerational success over the long term?
“I can’t compete against family.” For women, “competing” against siblings or other family members can seem like a dirty word. Yet to claim personal power and actively pursue a leadership opportunity often involves competing with others in the system (in perhaps a collaborative way). Women who want to lead must get comfortable with this dynamic—understand that there might be some bruised egos in the short term, but trust that they can manage relationships over the long term.
“Our rules say so.” Some families have formal policies and pathways for family members to follow. Others do not. If rules exist, family members should certainly follow them. But, as with any kind of hiring process, there are proactive, informal steps to take to build relationships and show your potential that are not typically set forth explicitly in written policies. Women are more conditioned to follow the letter of the rule than men are.2 When the rules aren’t clear, comprehensive, or implemented consistently, they can serve as a barrier. Women tend to ask permission and not forgiveness, which can cause them to fall behind over time.
You can find the remaining six reasons on FFI Practice blog.
Time matters for all. Chance favors a prepared mind. Preparing to lead takes an investment in time and resources. The sooner strategic preparation begins, the more likely the outcome will be successful.
This article was co-written by Patricia M. Annino, FFI Fellow and Rachel M. Krol, Esq..