Remember: The Family Caregiver can go first…

Reading the tragic story of the death of Gene Hackman and his wife, Betsy Arakawa there are many haunting questions left unanswered. One of the most significant aspects of this tragedy, in my mind, is how often we see family caregivers neglecting their own well-being while focusing entirely on the care of their ill loved one. Whether the illness is physical or something like Alzheimer’s disease, it’s a common instinct to put all attention on the needs of the person who is suffering. Unfortunately, this often leads caregivers to overlook their own symptoms, thinking it’s only a temporary issue and that their health will improve with time.

I saw that first hand as a primary caregiver with my mother’s struggle with Alzheimer’s disease. She needed constant care and would forget to eat, walk out the door, get confused, put herself at risk etc.

What all caregivers must remember is a simple but vital lesson that is often echoed by flight attendants during pre-flight safety instructions. If the barometric pressure in the cabin changes and an oxygen mask falls toward you, put that mask over your own face first. It is only when you protect yourself that you can protect the person in need.

A very sad reminder of a very important lesson. Self-care is not optional for caregivers—it’s essential. Only by ensuring our own physical and mental well-being can we be there for those who need us the most.