How do you use your power?

I gave a presentation last week to young women on the topic of power. I think a lot about power. It is what led me to write my book:  Power, Strength and Perseverance: What Women Know About Other Women and Search for In Themselves. During these presentations, the same themes come up over and over again - how do we use our internal power?

The Struggle for Internal Power Among Women

Power seems to be an issue women of all generations of women struggle with. I am not talking about leadership – I am talking of internal power. We are all born with power. Once you know that you cannot unknow it. The question is not whether or not a woman has power- all women have power. The question is what velocity you are using your power? How intentional is your power? Do you adjust your power as your goals and interests evolve?

A Lesson about Soft Power

I remember years ago speaking with a strategic coach. I was in the middle of a complicated negotiation, and she asked me who I thought the most powerful woman in the world was. In that moment, I said Hillary Clinton, and she quickly responded, "No, it’s Queen Elizabeth." She then asked, "How does she use her power?" The answer was simple: Softly.

Queen Elizabeth's method of power is not about force or dominance, but about starting off negotiations with gratitude, thanking the person she’s speaking with for their thoughts. It’s the subtle but profound strength of soft power.

 How do you use your power?